Killing Docters, Killing Little things

I have wrote about god enough.
I have wrote about death enough.
I have wrote about suicide.
I have wrote about space enough.
I have wrote about love enough.
I have wrote stuff that doesn't matter enough.
I haven't wrote about me.

I don't talk about myself much so this is going to be really weird, anyways this is for you.

I am Colby. I love nothing in life more then soccer, I used to hate it and my parents made me play, but now I just love to strike lol; I like my hair most the time, I think about cutting it a lot though, I might soon. My life is really confusing right now. My parents hate me. My brother Loves me. I love my brother. I like driving my cars, I like Speeding, I like racing, and I like the idea of crashing. I know I am going to die from cancer or on a long car drive I have known this for awhile, I don't expect to live past 25. I pretend like I will. I sleep very well almost every night. I feel bad for everyone and I just wish everyone could be happy. I can be very mean and controlling. I like doing weird things and I like climbing trees. I've never done drugs or done alcohol. Time scares me. I want to believe i've gone through the hardest parts in my life. I should be memorizing things right now. I get really nervous to talk to a lot of people. I haven't had a best friend since I was 6 years old, then he moved away, since then I have always been second choice. I cried a lot when I was younger. I don't cry almost at all anymore. I don't usually get sad anymore, I only feel bad. My phone broke the other day. I am moving to California for 5 years in a month and i'm not really scared at all. I am 18 now and nothing changed. I am 5'9. I weigh 120, I cant spell. I make the same jokes a lot. I know I've wrote about god a lot but that's just because I think about god a lot. If god exist and if the lds church is true then that is the only thing that matters in life is serving god and striving our best to obey all commandments. I like Ice cream. I sometimes feel like superpowers are real things, and i get very frustrated and get in a mood where i decide I will do anything to get one. I don't like swimming or taking my shirt off. I used to have really bad acne and it was hell, I feel bad for everyone that is self conscious. I think that everything is beautiful I really do, life amazes me. I am not as happy as I used to be. I am not as sad as I used to be. I don't like my life very much right now. I want to live in the suburbs when I am older, I don't like the city. I like baseball, I wish I would of played basketball more, I think twitter is great, I don't understand myself, I am very good and getting people do what I want and telling me what I want them to tell me just with my words, I play with people a lot, I know its horrible and I honestly believe I am one of the worst people I have met haha I can be very nice though, but I know how to destroy people and I have and that's horrible, I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.  I wish I could draw better, I don't remember events almost at all, I couldn't tell you what happened yesterday, or what my favorite goal has ever been, or why things changed, I could tell you that I am Colby Barton and that I don't believe in people, and I honestly don't think more then 3 people will read this whole thing and that's alright, people just don't care, I get in weird moods and i have never wrote about myself and I am sorry, I am Colby Barton. I am Colby Barton. I am Colby Barton. and I am sorry