The Future, The Past, Never A Present.

She drank genocide.
Killing an entire species of love it was different from all the rest.
Her funeral was a water park.
My throat was dry.
My lips have nowhere to go.
And my heart has already left.
She slept forever.
All my fingers broken, entangled.
My hands have nothing to hold.

As she whispers into my ears I put flowers on her grave.
She's 6 feet away and that's the closest I'll ever get.
No lies have ever broken my soul like this. I'm shaking like a waterfall
My foot has never hit the floor so fast that shift in the fifth.
Nature Vs. Nature River Vs. River
We're head on.
I try talking to you one last time but you're still asleep.
Now crashing into the biggest rock we've ever seen.
I sleep.
I'm six feet under now and my funeral is a water park.

McCall

Dear McCall,

To be honest I have been studying your blog since your first post, I can honestly say you are my favorite writer in the class, I read every single one of your post multiple times so I could find something to write down on the “the Bad” column of my paper, I couldn't find a thing, I would start to write something on the bad column but then I’d be like wait I actually really like that about your blog so I would write it on the “the Good” column. Anyways here’s my thoughts but first I will let your own words sum up the whole blog “If you really knew me you would know 99% of my post are about love” this is true but most definitely not bad.

The Good: K I absolutely love how in some of your post especially the earlier ones you would randomly throw in a couple lines that would rhyme, not all the lines, just some, just enough to make you feel something more and different.

Ice Box’s

Lets talk about love, like you said 99% of your posts are about love, and that is so cool. I don’t know you all that well so I don’t know who you are writing about, but I wish I did, the way you write about him makes me think he is god and that you have the strongest testimony he is real. Hahah that was cheesy, anyways I can tell love is what you love so I love reading what you write about, it is so beautiful and you are so good at it. Keep it up, I hope love works out for you.

Your blog is funny, your blog is cute, your blog is deep, your blog made me sad, your blog made me happy, your blog made me hope, your blog made me want to write, I want to write now.

I like brown eyes, but for reals your “tell me your story post is so good” you brought up eyes multiple times in your post and its beautiful and so good and ahh so good.

The Bad:

Favorite posts: (you) (me) (rain) (pain) (moon), the one about you wanting your crayons back, “head Trauma” I loved how this post was written, and how bricks are more then just bricks. “Birds Eye View” this post is unreal and I think it just flows and goes so smooth, this post has 0 comments, and I think that that is beautiful for this post but it also deserved so many, this is one of my favorites of yours and I would love to see you slam it in class I think that would be so cool, maybe you already have idk.”tell me your story” is so so so so good holy shiz its so good. “RIP” “Raps Pt. 2” “Him” “pocket lint” “creativeonmothersday”  I know put like all of your posts on here but they are all so so so good I wanted to swear after reading everyone cause they were so good.

Favorite lines:”how did 3 snack packs turn into “its ok I’m not hungry” “sometimes we fly, mostly we fall” “we have more fun then lost boys” “people always say I’m beautiful but they don’t see the cruelty behind mascara” “please believe me this time” “10:53 and I don’t give a damn about AP Psychology because the chairs in my class room are slowly starting to empty” “I know I always write about love but I’m 18 with the stars in my eyes”

Your blog is a 10, I am jealous of your writing so much and wish I could write more like you. The only advice I can give you is to write more, I want to read more and more from you so please write more, also in some of your posts I could tell you were just writing to write, write about what you love, not about what you think other people will like to read, its your blog and its so good. Thank you for letting me review your blog.

P.S. Perhaps is such a great word, same with "alas" these were great words to a great post with a great ending.

P.P.S. awhile back i posted a tweet with a list of girls i've ever had a crush on and I think your blog would be the first non human to make that list, also i never watched the jonas brothers but I am guessing it would be like having a crush on one of them

Killing Docters, Killing Little things

I have wrote about god enough.
I have wrote about death enough.
I have wrote about suicide.
I have wrote about space enough.
I have wrote about love enough.
I have wrote stuff that doesn't matter enough.
I haven't wrote about me.

I don't talk about myself much so this is going to be really weird, anyways this is for you.

I am Colby. I love nothing in life more then soccer, I used to hate it and my parents made me play, but now I just love to strike lol; I like my hair most the time, I think about cutting it a lot though, I might soon. My life is really confusing right now. My parents hate me. My brother Loves me. I love my brother. I like driving my cars, I like Speeding, I like racing, and I like the idea of crashing. I know I am going to die from cancer or on a long car drive I have known this for awhile, I don't expect to live past 25. I pretend like I will. I sleep very well almost every night. I feel bad for everyone and I just wish everyone could be happy. I can be very mean and controlling. I like doing weird things and I like climbing trees. I've never done drugs or done alcohol. Time scares me. I want to believe i've gone through the hardest parts in my life. I should be memorizing things right now. I get really nervous to talk to a lot of people. I haven't had a best friend since I was 6 years old, then he moved away, since then I have always been second choice. I cried a lot when I was younger. I don't cry almost at all anymore. I don't usually get sad anymore, I only feel bad. My phone broke the other day. I am moving to California for 5 years in a month and i'm not really scared at all. I am 18 now and nothing changed. I am 5'9. I weigh 120, I cant spell. I make the same jokes a lot. I know I've wrote about god a lot but that's just because I think about god a lot. If god exist and if the lds church is true then that is the only thing that matters in life is serving god and striving our best to obey all commandments. I like Ice cream. I sometimes feel like superpowers are real things, and i get very frustrated and get in a mood where i decide I will do anything to get one. I don't like swimming or taking my shirt off. I used to have really bad acne and it was hell, I feel bad for everyone that is self conscious. I think that everything is beautiful I really do, life amazes me. I am not as happy as I used to be. I am not as sad as I used to be. I don't like my life very much right now. I want to live in the suburbs when I am older, I don't like the city. I like baseball, I wish I would of played basketball more, I think twitter is great, I don't understand myself, I am very good and getting people do what I want and telling me what I want them to tell me just with my words, I play with people a lot, I know its horrible and I honestly believe I am one of the worst people I have met haha I can be very nice though, but I know how to destroy people and I have and that's horrible, I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.  I wish I could draw better, I don't remember events almost at all, I couldn't tell you what happened yesterday, or what my favorite goal has ever been, or why things changed, I could tell you that I am Colby Barton and that I don't believe in people, and I honestly don't think more then 3 people will read this whole thing and that's alright, people just don't care, I get in weird moods and i have never wrote about myself and I am sorry, I am Colby Barton. I am Colby Barton. I am Colby Barton. and I am sorry

Gasoline

When the doctor was stitching my face, I prayed that he would stitch my heart too.

6,5,4,3,2,1

She fits firmly to the ocean.
I investigate our hate with numbers.
X's vibrate. Us? Retire. One evening.
Eat,  rarely eat.
Eternal

1,2,3

Don't Speak to me

It was 17 years ago when I forgot how to talk to god. The cord was snipped and everything went away. I forgot how to build up a conversation with Christ, and I was forced to learn English, I still cant spell correctly because this is my second language, so forgive me if I forget a comma. I try to speak to you but I just get choked up, words make no sense and I just know there is something more, I wont forget, I wont Forget, I wont forget.


Neptune

 I want to stare at the stars long enough that it is a blood moon every night. I want to hold hands with the sun. I want burns all over my body, but mostly I want Neptune. I want to be as cold as Neptune looks. and I want her to lay with me. Neptune. I know you weigh 17.5 times the mass of the earth but you are still so beautiful. you are colder then the earth has ever been but you have 14 moons. You have 5 rings, each one rolling onto my fingers, I want to touch you, take me with you, I've given you "Space" for far to long, I love you.


Failing, i'm dying catch me.

My lungs are going in and out but they are slowing down, kidneys failing and my hands haven't stopped shaking since 23. I know I am 17 but I am no longer talking about my age, every day the mountains get a little less green. I am going to Hawaii and I hope when I get back my glasses will be in. because the whole world is going grey now.

Real life, Less tight.

I was in war.
There were grenades and fire, everyone else was dead,
Just me and him.
I took one to the leg, he shot all of my friends,
his trigger pointed, he only has one bullet left but he is a legend he's never been beat he's not scared.
I slowly round the corner and I put one in the back of his head.
I learned in psychology that memories are in the hippo campus,
That must of been where i shot him because he doesn't remember anything.
He wont wake up, he is dead.
For a minute I thought I won.
I have never been more wrong.
I thought I was always right.
Never been more wrong.
Ya i'm still standing but at least he's not living with the memories of murder.
I didn't realize with that one shot i would be killing myself too.

I'm so sorry to anyone I've ever shot. you didn't deserve to die.
He said he believes I love everyone, so how could i shoot him.
I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
I thought i was just playing C.O.D. but it was real life.
I am so sorry.
Please forgive me.
I am so sorry.

I'm sorry I failed,
Please wake up
Please forgive me
Please take my gun,
Please shoot back.